you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
