Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
