it wasn't lemon gatorade
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
