Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
