The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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