I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
