I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
