Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
