So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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