yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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