We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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