So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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