but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
