cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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