Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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