I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize