He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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