This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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