Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I can't turn off my feet"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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