When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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