For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
