I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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