3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
