So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
