Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
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