You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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