this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
