Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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