I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
