last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
