i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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