Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
