she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
