What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
