I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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