i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
