If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
