is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
