No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
