Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
