Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
