btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I AM VODKA MAN
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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