Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
