he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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