Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
