she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
