Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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