garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
