hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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