It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
