I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize