Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
