I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
