I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
