Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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