the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
