Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
