Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
