need another drink. this is the easiest way
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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