And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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