I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I touched a dick in church today
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
