She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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