I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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