You really coming over, don't trick.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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